There is No Such Thing as a Bad Experience
Updated: Oct 16, 2019
Ever feel ashamed when you set health goals but fall short? Some of us let that feeling be enough to quit all together. Or maybe not quit, but have to justify to someone else on the journey with us all the reasons why we fell short. I am the latter. I am currently on a few adventures to improve my health & happiness- a journey that will never end as long as I commit to investing in myself- and I had a shit week last week. I’m back on track today but felt it necessary to explain to my coach why I had a shit week. While there is nothing wrong with looking at why something happened so you can identify triggers and patterns to develop awareness, I’m not convinced that was my motive. My coach is AMAZING! She is beautiful, kind, incredibly fit, confident, consistent, balanced, non-judgmental, etc! And there are days I feel anything but.
Self love is a hot topic these days and admittedly is a concept I try to integrate in my own life. And no wonder! We live in a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others: co-workers, family members, celebrities and on and on. But we rarely have the complete picture on someone else’s life. We often only see the side the person decides to share with us and generally that is their best; even more so with social media than ever before. People are quick to share their happiest moments and rightfully keep their low points private. And therefore when we compare ourselves to someone else we are comparing our whole self to the very best of someone else. Those odds do not look good for anyone.
Something that has been really helpful for me to learn is that the opposite of love is judgment. THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE IS JUDGMENT. Love is acceptance… just as others are… just as you are. This pertains to all of you, the good and the bad. Which brings me to another point. There are no bad parts and no bad experiences. The very act of labeling something good or bad is judging. We then tend to accept and love the good and spend our whole lives trying to rid the bad- sometimes from ourselves and sometimes from others. This is rejection of a part of you or of someone else. But who would you be if you were only good? Who would you be if you never suffered through your worst experiences? Did your capacity for greatness derive from your worst points in life?
I spent a long time in darkness, suffering, isolated and numb- fiercely angry without understanding why. I rejected my faith and my family not wanting to accept how a world could be so cruel and continually engaged in acts of self-destruction. I hit a bottom and was given a second chance, now experiencing infinite love and faith – something I did not believe I had the capacity for. And life – I am life. I am love. I guide others to heal from their own fears and suffering. Something I could not have done without all of my experiences. I am unbelievably grateful for where I am now and the ability to recognize who I am and HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. I have to love and accept my darkest experiences to fully love and appreciate my light... my gifts. And everyday I am a little bit closer to being fully grateful for all experiences that have brought me to this point.
Today I accept all of me without judgment. All of my experiences shaped me into the beautiful person I am. I am thankful for the darkness and the light. I never fail; each step I take is a chance to learn how I can best serve myself and my higher power. I let go of any shame I have of being me.
Jill Byron is a certified holistic health coach and registered yoga teacher. Learn more at SimpleHeartHealth.com.